But seriously, he is a fairly decent actor. Really...heh...honestly...no...heh really...

And, by the way...If you want a great source on movies, TV, and other film sources, past, present, and future, check out the Internet Movie Database. Filled with deals, promotions, movie facts and errata, and other nifty stuff...See the banner at the bottom of this page.

Ok, so I haven't updated my page in a year or more, and I may or may not ever again. I've seen a bunch of movies, and I guess what I can do is write a bit about them, including perhaps a short review, and some sort of scale...

How about this...

= PLEASE no more of this schlock!!!!

= Can I open my eyes now?

= Well, I didn't lose my lunch...

= Hey not bad...

= Like, Duuuuuuuuude! Kickin'!

= I have been to the promised land...

I don't pretend to be technically proficient as far as movies are concerned, but I've seen a bunch, and I know what I like. And I know what I don't like. Fortunately, I like most stuff, even schlock, so even if a movie has a bad review, I probably still enjoyed it...heh. So please, sit back, relax, and enjoy. If you share my opinions, great, if not, well I hope you get a chuckle out of what I have to say.

Films shall appear in no particular order other than whenever I remember seeing them...

Little Nicky             The Sixth Day
Blair Witch 2            Unbreakable
The Patriot              Men of Honor
Gladiator                Army of Darkness
The Whole Nine Yards     Sleepy Hollow

Little Nicky: Have you seen The Waterboy, The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, or any other Adam Sandler movie? Ok, you know what to expect. It's not too bad, it makes ya laugh, but don't expect tour de force acting. Hell, don't expect much other than Adam Sandler's particular brand of comedy with a bunch of cameo appearances...nuff said.

The Sixth Day: Arnie, Arnie Arnie...just because you're cool, and have a nifty accent, and married a Kennedy, please don't dictate morality to me in the guise of an action flick. I can formulate my own opinions, and this film is a bit heavy handed don't ya think? (You didn't just need the money did you Mr. Duval?)

Blair Witch 2: The less said about this travesty the better. The original Blair Witch was great. It used innuendo and nauseating camera non-effects to suggest and imply, making the viewer's own mind develop the suspense into horror. The sequel unfortunately goes back to the old slasher shock formula, and comes across as a desperate attempt to capitalize on the success of truly brilliant film-makers. Ick. I honestly didn't like this one.

Unbreakable: For fans of comic books out there, this is a really spiff flick. OR perhaps not. It's basically a look at the possibility of real super-heros in the real world. Nothing flashy, nothing exoticly powerful, just a man with a unique gift. It's a well put together little film, and the scene with the gun is classic...Very enjoyable film. My only real complaint was that it was a bit predictable.

The Patriot: Well, what can I say about The Patriot. It was an epic set during the American Revolution and it was designed to tug at the heartstrings, and it worked. The movie was great! I realize it used cliches and that sometimes it was predictable, and yes, the dialogue was even trite sometimes, but who cares! Those evil Brits had it coming dammit! I should say that a week after I saw the film, I went to visit Yorktown...it made the visit a little more interesting. To think, Mel Gibson fought there...heh...

Men of Honor: Cuba Gooding Jr. has a certain ebulience that he brings to every role he plays. With that in mind, you know going in that there's going to be a powerful, energetic, and enthusiastic character delivery that pulls you right into the story. This movie was no exception. With Robert DeNiro being, well, Robert DeNiro as a counterpoint, sparks well and truly fly. Enjoyable, but very formula. It is notable though, that DeNiro upstages Charlize Theron at one point without saying a word, or even moving during the scene...Go Raging Bull!

Gladiator: Oooooh YEAH BABY! Hell YEAH! This movie rocked! Blood, guts, severed heads, swords, unrequited love, insanity, duels to the death, roaring crowds, guys in skirts, chariots, tigers, spitting in the face of Imperial Royalty, did I mention swords? Run, do not walk to see this movie! Turn the volume off...frankly, who needs to listen to any of the mostly insipid dialogue! STABBITY DEATH!

Army of Darkness: This movie is pure schlock. But unlike most schlock, it was hilarious! And it was supposed to be! Bruce Cambell is his usual sarcastic, witty self as a hero from our day and age yanked back in time to the middle ages to recover the Necronomicon to save a castle and it's inhabitants from an evil scourge of undead. Or something like that. The plot's not important. It's so full of schtick and one liners that it's thouroughly enjoyable anyway...

The Whole Nine Yards: Ok, right off the bat, I don't like Friends movies. That is I don't like movies that star Friends' cast members, mainly because they only seem to play that one character in everything. This is an exception. Not in the sense that Matthew Perry is any different, mostly just because I think Chandler is funny as hell, and I'd love to see more Chandler movies...heh. Plus, I mean come on...Bruce Willis as a hit man...that's gotta be cool...It was funny, it had moments...

Sleepy Hollow: This movie has as much to do with the original story as Spam does to real meat. But who cares? Tim Burton does his usual bang up creepy job, as does Johnny Depp in portraying the studious, inventive, and somewhat squeamish Inspector Ichabod Crane (yes the guy in the story is a schoolmaster, again who cares). Crane comes to Sleepy Hollow to investigate a rash of murders and finds more than he bargained for...pretty cool huh...heh...Again, a movie with people getting their heads chopped off...That makes it pretty good in my book...

More to come...